Why do Cyclists Shave Their Legs?

Smooth, but definitely not sexy. Are those my shaved legs? Yes, yes they are. So why do cyclists shave their legs? Well before I address that let me say that I do not consider myself a cyclist. More like a thirty-something riding a bike trying not to get fat. I don't think I could label myself a cyclist until I've completed some major (or at least significant) event (i.e. the ULCER). Yes I have a great road bike; yes I wear spandex and enjoy it; yes I've put over 2000 miles on my bike; but until I finish this race, I'm afraid I'm nothing more than a wanna-be.

Back to the issue at hand. Are cyclists that shave their legs fancy boys? No, but this guy isn't helping. Ask any hard-core cyclist why he shaves his legs, and you'll get a slurry of creative answers. The most common are:

Aerodynamics: Smoother legs have less drag and resistance. Good grief, are you kidding? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There's zero evidence for this claim. It's like saying that Screech would be more attractive if he shaved his beard. If there is any truth to this, it is psychological. You think you are faster, therefore you are faster.

Road Rash: Less hair makes it easier to bandage, manage infection etc. While there is truth to this, if you are crashing so often that you really have to do this, then maybe you should try a new sport, like ribbon twirling. I've crashed once in 2000 miles - the bandaids weren't that bad to deal with.

So having listed those first two, if either of these is the response you get from a cyclist, then they are just gay. Ok, maybe not gay, but too arrogant too admit that this isn't the real reason they shaved their legs.

Massage: Hair gets in the way of a good, deep tissue massage after a long ride. Ok, sounds pretty legitimate - but seriously, of all the leg shaving boys out there, how many of them are really good enough, or ride enough to warrant having massages after every ride or having their own massage therapist? Come on. Pro Cyclists, yes - everyone else, keep searching for your real answer.

Vanity: Real serious cyclists (that just disqualified me right there) develop some pretty serious legs. Shaving make sure that everyone else knows it.

To Impress Other Cyclists: Woolly Mammoth man feels a bit awkward when he shows up to ride with all the sleek, cleanly-shaven "real" cyclists. They all look at him like he's some weekend warrior with excess fur, rather than a pure cyclist like themselves.

Tradition: I like this one. It is simple, there's no effort to justify or make some long story about why you have smooth legs. It is simply a tradition among cyclists.

So why did I abandon the Magnum PI look? I suppose it's a combination of some of these answers. Vanity? No. Don't have the legs to be proud of. To impress other cyclists? Yeah, a bit. I'm going to be riding this century ride in a couple weeks - I want to be taken seriously. Don't want to be like woolly mammoth man after all. Tradition? Yes, but again - by my own confession I'm not actually a real cyclist yet. I think the main reason I did it is to celebrate an achievement. The achievement being my participation in the ULCER next week. This is one of the biggest things I've ever attempted, and definitely the longest and hardest I've ever trained for something (maybe excluding wrestling in high school).

So I shaved my legs. I gotta say I kinda like it. It feels totally different when I slide into bed, when I'm in the pool, when I jump into my jeans, when I slide down a coconut tree. Girly? Absolutely. Metro sexual? Yeah maybe. Sexy? Hasn't done much for me so far, so no. An odd way to celebrate something I'd say. But there's just so much pressure to fit in these days...