PWNED!

I called in sick yesterday. I really was sick. I swear I locked my computer when I left work the day before. Wouldn't matter. Cause my idiot brother Clayton - who has earned space on this blog on other occasions, knows my password - since he's our unofficial IT guy that doesn't really do anything here. So he logged into my computer, and first of all changed my desktop to this:

Then, he left this word document open with this lovely story about how to ride a unicorn. Apparently he has some pretty good experience with unicorns and riding them. Here's the instructions:

"I really like riding unicorns. They don't like it - and it's really hard to do because well there aren't exactly lots of unicorns just walking the streets of my city these days, but when I do see one the secret to catching it to ride is well I go talk to it in a calm and gentle, almost-whisper, and then I gaze into their ocean-blue eyes until they go into this trance, don't ask me why I think it's just my skillz and plus my eyes are like way beautiful and THEN I say this word - don't ask me why, I just know this works, OK? The word is "smellycadoodlezippydorfballs" and when I say this word (in a calm, gentle almost-whisper) the unicorn will bow down his front knee so I can get on and I grab onto the horn and swing myself up onto the unicorn and we ride away through the streets of my city, past the city limits and into the pastures and then into the forests where the unicorn dwells (when food is plentiful - sometimes it's not and that was OBVIOUSLY why the unicorn was in my city, DUH) and when you want to stop you take your index finger and just draw the word "STOP" onto the unicorn's back and since unicorns are so smart, it knows what you wrote and that you want to stop and well, it slows to a gallop, then it slows to a trot, and then it slows to a gentle walk, and then it comes to a total stop (gently) and well that's when you can get off. BUT BE CAREFUL because if you don't remember the word I told you, GOOD LUCK getting back onto the unicorn to get your ass back to town!"

And now, respectfully, I want to share with you in a calm, gentle, almost-whisper, the link to the fine unicorn movie that he left me. I hope you enjoy it as much as Clayton does.